Tonight I'll sleep in Harry Cunningham's arms
by Audrey1119
Summary: Nikki's dream gives much needed push to both her and Harry to finally talk about their feelings...
1. Chapter 1

Everything belongs to BBC, of course.

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**Tonight I'll sleep in Harry Cunningham's arms**

I am woken up by the strange sensation.

Opening my eyes just slightly I recognize the familiar shadow by my side. It's him, of course. I realize I am lying in my bed wearing very little and he is by my side, placing sweet kisses all over my stomach. He doesn't know I am awake and I close my eyes enjoying this. I feel his familiar smell; his breath tickles my skin, there's familiar touch of his lips, familiar goose bumps that he provokes in me each and every time.

Of course he knows I'm awake couple of seconds later and now I feel his lips on my own and before I even open my eyes they are on my neck. I move my arms but he gently presses them down again and moves lower, his lips never leaving my skin.

For some time I can't think.

Then my hands are free and my fingers are in his hair as he moves down, kissing my thighs, his hands on my back now, lifting me up like I was a child. I close my eyes again, every coherent thought leaves my mind and all I feel is his hair under my fingertips and sensations that his kisses provide.

* * *

I open my eyes and stretch. It's the same location, I am in my bed again, light is low, it's warm and comfy, but I am wearing an old pink pyjamas and I am alone. He is not here. Still I smile.

Even in my dreams being with him makes me all warm and fuzzy, aroused and excited. It feels surreal, but at the same time like the most natural thing. Here is where he should always be. In my bed. By my side.

It takes me couple of minutes to open my eyes and with a smile that never leaves my lips I see that it's only 4 AM.

On Sunday morning. My day off. And I have dreamt about him. Like every time.

Even when there's a man of flesh and blood in my bed, it's still him. It's always him. It's always Harry. Ever since I've met him. In the last couple of years I even choose men similar to him. But I don't really need it.

I know him perfectly. I know feel of his naked skin on mine, his fingers on my face, his hair tickling my skin. I know it all. Even if his skin has never touched mine, even if my fingers have never run through his hair.

I know it all. I can feel it all.

There's no guilt this time. I can't control what I feel. Or what I think. Or dream. I smile again. Perhaps I am developing a mental illness if after all this time this morning I finally feel that it's okay to have these kinds of thoughts about my best friend, about my colleague.

I decide that I don't care.

All I can really think about is how I want him here in my bed, how I want to hear his voice each and every morning. How I know we both need it more than anything.

I try to fall asleep again, which is impossible of course.

Harry's face pops to my mind again and now even awake I feel his kisses again, his fingers are on my back and it's all back. I can see him, I smell him; hear his voice whispering something I can't quite decipher in my ear.

Until I realize that I am holding my phone and that that really IS him and that he really IS talking. I have gone crazy. Finally.

"Nikki! Wake up woman!"

"Good morning" I say pretending that I am conscious and that I know what I am actually doing. Or saying. I finally realize that I am holding my phone. It's only 0415, I certainly hope it's still the same Sunday. I am in control again. Kind of.

"Is there some unsuitable man in your bed that makes you this delusional?" he asks and I lose my mind again as hearing his manly voice after dreaming about him whole night is beyond reason.

"Maybe I should call when unsuitable leaves" I hear him say.

And then I've obviously lost what was left of my mind because I said "There is actually. I've been having extremely passionate night with you in my dreams until you've interrupted."

Pause. Silence. The world has stopped spinning.

I haven't just said that. I haven't. I couldn't have possibly.

Oh my God.

I pray that he hasn't had a heart attack or something of a kind because I can't hear him breathe.

Pause. Silence.

I am completely awake this time. I have regained my senses.

And I giggle.

"It was a joke of course Harry" I say and feel something crashing in my chest.

Silence. Still. I am not sure if the world is spinning again.

My cheeks are burning. I hear nothing.

And then he laughs. Nervously I can tell. I feel the pain in my chest again.

Still his laughter is the most beautiful sound.

_Stop it Nikki_, I shake my head uncontrollably and he talks again.

"Right. I am sorry to wake you up but Leo is gone for the weekend and I have four bodies pulled out of the lake. Need your help."

"Yes, of course" I say.

I might remember later what he has just said. Later when I can't hear his voice anymore and I am controlling my actions again.

What is it tonight that I am like this?

"So I'll see you in about an hour, I hope" I hear.

"Yeah" is all I manage to say.

He continuous jokingly "Maybe after work I can make your dreams come true" he giggles.

I can't take it anymore. Today is the day when this game ends.

"You know doctor Cunningham I may just choose to hold you on that one" I say.

Pause. Silence.

The world has most definitely stopped spinning this time.

To make it a joke or not?

He is not breathing.

Finally I hear him sigh.

Good, he is alive. I can almost see him with his mouth opened, his mind blank as we both know that we've meant it.

All of it. It was never a joke.

Should this be the day to end the game?

Or should I start giggling again so that we can resolve the tension in jokes and laughter like we always do?

Pause. Silence.

I look at the picture of the two of us on my bedside table.

His lips, his hair, his voice, his heart.

For a moment I close my eyes inhaling deeply.

Fully conscious of my actions I choose to press the red button on my phone, ending this call.

Today the game ends.

Whatever happens today it was coming for six years now.

Like a natural disaster. You can never stop it.

We've tried to postpone it but this is as far as it could've possibly gone.

Why tonight I don't know.

* * *

For I don't know how long I stare in the distance. Images of us running in front of my eyes.

The first time we've shaken hands, the first and only kiss we have ever shared, in the next memory he is hugging me and just a moment after my life has almost finished I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

I don't know how much time has passed but then I realize I am supposed to be at work in an hour. I remember something about the bodies and the lake.

_Shower _is my next thought._ I need to shower_.

_Is the red strapless dress too much for work_, I wonder.

Again there's the same silly smile on my lips, the one that hasn't left me this morning at all except for a moments when it had to be replaced by shock.

_It's not too much. Not if I put a cardigan on_, I conclude laughing as I feel warm water running down my body.

* * *

It will end today.

The game. And the life will finally begin.

Because there's no way we could not work out.

Tonight I'll sleep in Harry Cunningham's arms.

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**Happy New Year everyone!**

**Obviously I have no life so I wrote this tonight, on New Year's eve. **

**I've enjoyed it, though. It was a great fun and I hope you'll love it and review... **

**Please? =)**

**xxxxxxxxx**

**A**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, chapter 2 :) I hope you'll like it. **

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**Nikki **

All the way from the bathroom, getting dress in my completely-inappropriate-for-the-middle-of-the-January red dress, to walking down and getting into my car, I can't stop smiling. As I drive I wonder if something might be wrong with me, something neurological. I don't remember any unusual headache or hallucinations, not since I've woken up, at least.

Instantly, I smile. Memory of the last night…

Or, could it be… something else pops to my annoyingly scientific brain, _maybe it's that time of the month_, I wonder, _that probably ever women knows. _When you'd do everything to have someone in your bed. When hormones cause you to become desperate for man's _company. _Product of evolution all for the purpose of production an offspring.

But no, I count; this isn't that that time of the month. And Harry is certainly not just any man. He is everything but. And my feelings for him are not something new. It's simply time to say what was always kept in the air, but never said .

Why now, after seven years? Probably because everything has its time, its final point, its one moment when it's now or never. I don't care why. Again I smile.

If I'd be honest I would have to admit that I know this Nikki. This _I've-had-a-dream-of-Harry-and-it's-enough-to-make-me-very-happy_ Nikki.

I meet her regularly.

Every evening Harry and I spend together, curled up, either talking or just laying in each other's arms in silence.

That's when she's there, resting, laughing, enjoying, making me more… me than I usually am .

I see her every time when I look at him, over the room full of detectives and lab technicians, over the bunch of papers that have a yesterday's deadlines, over a decomposed dead body... That's when I'll see her, when my eyes meet Harry's and we close ourselves in our world.

In every possible situation, reflection of myself in him, in my best friend, in my soul mate, in Harry, makes me more Nikki, makes me better person, happier person.

So I smile this morning, too.

Because I don't care anymore.

I can't care because I can't wait. What if he says something I don't want to hear? What if for him nothing has changed? What if he's too afraid that we'll ruin what we already have? I know I am. But I won't let fear stop me. Not anymore. Because you never know how much time you have left.

Still, I can't know what will happen because I never knew how to act with men in my life. I would either fall crazily in love with a guy, or exaggerate in adoring him, or I would use him for sex. That simple.

But with Harry…

I learnt to respect him, to care for him, to adore his humour and his kind heart, to easily, naturally and spontaneously fall in love with him.

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**Harry **

I am standing by the lake watching divers searching for another body. Soon I hear young woman in her late teens screaming as divers pull out her sister's death body.

I don't think about how she feels. So I go easy way. All four bodies are out. That's it. I could go now.

I've already called Nikki. She'll wait for me to start with the PM. But am I ready to face her?

Through the fog and the dark night, even though I'm surrounded by numerous police officers, annoying scavenger reporters, screams and sound of crane pulling out the car from the water and even though it's only 5 am all I can see is her face.

All I can hear are her words. Or lack of them.

She said nothing to justify… Couldn't she have laughed? So that we would both know that it was a joke.

But no. I know exactly what she meant. I always do.

She wants for something to change. She wants things to be said between us. Finally said.

I want it, too. I want it for years now.

I wanted it every time I flirted with another woman, every time I've kissed another woman, every time I've slept with another woman. I would say to myself, _it can't be Nikki, so this woman is good, she's smart, she's kind, and she's beautiful. She is everything Nikki is._

So I would look for those women. Slightly disturbed, often hurt, with a bunch of problems needed to be solved, kind and loving, tender and full of compassion for others. I would convince myself that I love them for them. I would be with her for her, not because her sarcastic jokes reminded me of Nikki, not because she had the same empathy and passion for helping others.

I'd never go for blonde, though. That would drive me crazy. It would be too much.

Still none of "them" could keep me at ease, keep me certain that it's the right thing. I could never look in their eyes; lay in their beds and think of staying.

It felt like cheating. Of Nikki, of myself, of that woman.

None of them ever came in my mind, in my personal space, in my safe oasis. None of them ever knew a place where I have put everything that means anything so that it could never be lost. No matter how much they'd break my heart, no matter how hard they would hurt me, they could never crush me. Because what I really am, is there, in my safe place, hidden from the world.

But not from Nikki. Spontaneously, as it was the most natural thing, I've let her in. Completely. No deception there, I knew exactly what I was doing. And would do it again. Every time. But still…

Losing her, I could lose everything.

But maybe, just maybe, life could be fair to me this time. Life, God might choose to treat me better than before.

Maybe if I would let Nikki come and share my safe place, if I would let her stay with me there? It would be something I could finally call home, something to finally trust in.

Our family could be my goal, my point, my religion.

* * *

**At Work**

It's the middle of the January and the frozen rain is falling. One of those that make you wonder if sun will appear ever again.

Despite everything Nikki practically danced into the lab. She decided not to worry, how very strange of her, because this is Harry, nothing could ever be awkward between them. Nothing could ever separate them. It's going to be okay.

"Good morning, Zak" her cheerful voice almost scared a young man. "Isn't this one beautiful day?"

"Good morning, doctor Alexander."

Zak looks crashed, like he used the last atoms of his strength to get himself out of the bed this morning. Basically he looks appropriate for the one of the most depressing days of the year.

"Oh, what's with the sad face?" Nikki asked and had to force herself from pinching young man like he was a baby.

"We are expecting four dead bodies this morning" he responded almost shocked by her behaviour.

"Oh, please. We get dead bodies every day, several of them even. If we would let that affect our mood we'd be dead by now" she said and giggled.

"Alright, if you must know, my girlfriend left me last night" Zak said which caused Nikki to laugh even harder. Zak was definitely offended by her behaviour now.

"Oh, Zak, I am so sorry, I didn't even know you had a girlfriend. And here you are trying to convince me that you are depressed because of the dead bodies in the morgue" she said and laughed again.

"You've obviously had a good night, it seems."

"Oh, yes. I've definitely had a great night" she responded giggling, spinning in her chair.

"Did you?"

She froze as heard Harry saying that from the door smiling at her, rising his eyebrow, basically with most charming look on his face. One that would dazzle her instantly.

Of course, he knew that.

Nikki froze instantly as she watched him with her mouth opened in, she didn't know, shame or amazement, as he marched to the Leo's office.

"Ha!" Zak sighed, amusing look on his face. "That explains it!"

"What do you mean by that? And why is Harry in Leo's office?"

"Night must've been really good, Nikki, if it caused amnesia" Zak said playfully.

There was no way of stopping him now and certainly there was no trace of his depression. What he thought had happened between his two colleagues obviously amused him by no end.

"It's not Nikki to you it's doctor Alexander!" Nikki pretended to be angry and offended. "What are you talking about?"

"Well haven't you heard? In the accident famous football player, his wife and two friends were killed. It's high publicity. Phones won't stop ringing and as professor Dalton is away, Harry is a boss."

"Aha" Nikki responded, finally concentrated.

"But I guess you don't mind" Zak continued. Nikki just raised her eyebrow in confusing as he continued

"that doctor Cunningham is a boss" he accentuated the last two words, quickly running through the glass door and avoiding the pen that Nikki threw at him.

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**Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Things finally get resolved in this chapter... **

**Of course, all the characters, quotes, hints and everything else you recognize belongs to BBC.**

**Enjoy :)**

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**Chapter 3**

It was busy day at the Lyell Centre and Nikki and Zak have just finished the post mortems of the driver and his wife. There was nothing suspicious about their deaths but Nikki was still waiting for toxicology reports that could easily bring crucial evidents. But for now, at least, she could take a break, finally have a shower and start on writing reports. Harry or possibly Leo was to perform the other two post mortems, of the younger male and female.

Looking at the big clock in the morgue Nikki read, _one-thirty_. It was interesting how work could take her mind of everything else because it was now, while she was finishing the second post mortem and checking the labelled samples, that she realised that she hasn't seen Harry since this morning.

"You can finish it here, Zak?" she asked her assistant.

"No problem" he answered giving her another ambiguous smile. She chose to ignore it. For once.

* * *

It was exactly when she opened the door of the cutting room that something caught her attention.

"Harry!" she called.

"_Gr__eat! This was not the right time for what they needed to discuss_" Harry thought. But for whatever reason it made him smile just to hear her say his name.

"You are running away from me!" she almost yelled making him smile again. He stopped it instantly, opened his eyes and turned to face her. There was look of childlike anger on her face.

"I wasn't _running away_" he said accentuating last two words.

"Harry, you were literally running!"

"I didn't run away from Russian mob, or Hungarian or Ukrainian! Why do you think I'd run away from you?"

Nikki smiled.

They were good.

"Do you think you should?" she asked carefully. "Run away from me? Because if you think you should... I mean if you want to avoid what we need to talk about... Really, we can just let it go."

"Is that what you want?" he asked uncertain of what she was saying.

"No. I want you to do what you want. I don't want this to become awkward. I …" she didn't know anymore what she was trying to say. "Maybe I've talked enough for one day" she finally said, causing Harry to laugh. Not one of his nervous laughs, but one of relief.

"You think this is funny?"

"Oh, please you laugh at me all the time" he said putting his hands on her shoulders. He could instantly feel goosebumps under the thin scrubs.

"I want us to talk about it" he continued looking her deeply in the eyes.

In that moment world stopped. They said everything without actually saying anything.

Few moments passed in silence.

"Just not now" he said putting light kiss on her chin, and in the next moment was gone leaving Nikki standing in the hallway with the biggest grin on her face and uncertain of how to move…

"Nikki" she suddenly heard Zak. "We have lab results from the first post mortem!"

Instantly Nikki pushed away every thought of what has just happened or was hopefully yet to happen, and concentrated on her work.

* * *

Couple of hours passed and Nikki was now sitting at Harry's desk writing reports. It wasn't that urgent, but she just had to do something, anything to stop herself from silly grinning or worrying.

Through the glass wall she could see Zak chatting with one of the students who was on an elective with them.

"So" Nikki asked teasing him "you are already flirting around. Your heart does heal rather quickly considering it was so badly broken just last night."

"I wasn't flirting around. May is performing a post mortem with Doctor Cunningham right now; she just dropped by to take some files."

"Oh, and it's an interesting post mortem, then?" Nikki asked again not yet wanting to let this go. She owed him for all the teasing from this morning.

"The younger woman that they are performing post mortem on, was apparently about eight weeks pregnant. Seems that she hasn't known, or at least her sister didn't mention it."

Nikki froze. Pregnant. Eight weeks pregnant, just like Anna was. She wondered how Harry will react on this. Will it bring to life barely killed demons that will once again destroy everything?

And again, just now when they were finally close to getting somewhere…

She had to talk to Harry but didn't want to pressure him, so she decided to wait for him in Leo's office.

* * *

"Nikki, love, wake up" she could clearly hear someone. She was so tired that she didn't think she had enough strength to open her eyes.

"I need you to do something for me." She could now clearly distinct Harry's words and that brought her back to consciousness.

"Haven't I already proved that I'd do anything for you?" she asked smiling.

"I need you to go home and have some rest" he said putting his hand on her chin.

Instinctively Nikki leant into his touch.

"I am okay" she said smiling. "What's happening with the case?" she asked, sitting up on the couch and stretching.

"It seems that bodies won't be the primary witnesses this time" Harry said obviously enjoying the fact that this time he knew more than she did.

Nikki though, knew he wanted her to beg him to tell her, but also that ignoring his teases could be even more fun.

"The car will. Someone sabotaged the car" he answered when realised that she won't ask.

"No fun for us then" she said smiling, as it meant no more work, too.

"I heard that the younger woman was eight weeks pregnant" she then said, avoiding his look.

"I am fine" he said smiling and Nikki knew he was.

"I really am. Except…"

"What?" small part of her was still afraid of what she might hear next.

"I've missed you" he simply said.

"Mhm. What did you miss about me?" she asked teasing him.

"You know... everything" he said like it was the most obvious answer.

"Everything?"

"Well, you know, you can't leave man like you did me this morning, with lots of funny thoughts in his head and then expect from him to act like nothing's happened. I am obviously deeply in problems now."

"Why don't you let me help you with that?" Nikki asked giving him one of her looks that she knew he couldn't resist even when they were just friends, if there was ever time like that.

Harry smiled, and for a minute Nikki could do nothing but look at him, and think of all the times she wondered if she'll ever see him smile like that.

"Oh, please I am the one always solving your problems" his joke brought her back from her thoughts "If I could have a penny for every Sudoku I've finished for you…"

"Very well, doctor Cunningham. Than solve this. Tell me what's the right thing to do."

"We've been together for seven years, Nikki. I love you. You love me" he said avoiding shocked look on her face. She obviously didn't expect this. Not so soon. "It's the simplest thing ever. If you really think about it, we only add sex to what we already have and we can say that we are in a long term relationship."

"Okay, let's do that" Nikki said not really believing that this wasn't one of her silly dreams. But nevertheless, it didn't matter; her answer to Harry would always be the same.

"My place or yours?" Harry asked kissing her somewhere just behind her ear which brought strange kind of chill to her back, one she never felt before.

"Don't you think cutting room would be the most appropriate?" she finally asked, when he moved away and she could think straight.

"After all, that's where it all started" Harry finished her thought and they both giggled.

"I love you" he then said, seriously, pressing his forehead on hers.

"And I love you" she responded, her breath gently tickling his face.

"Why do you think it took as so long to finally come to our senses?" Harry asked few moments later. "We could've saved each other from so much pain."

"Who knows why it was better this way" Nikki simply said.

"You believe that?" Harry asked once again faced with Nikki's unexplainable faith that so often he couldn't understand.

"Then I believe it, too" he said pressing his lips on hers.

* * *

For Nikki, this was everything she has ever dreamt about. She saw it coming for a long time and had no doubt that this was what she wanted. That this will work.

For Harry, the most important thing he's been looking for his entire life was finally there. Peace. As much as he was careless and never running away to protect his life, that much he was always running away trying to protect his heart. What finally brought peace to him was admitting that his heart has been perfectly safe all these years with Nikki Alexander.

For both of them, what they've finally named, what they finally faced has brought sense that they've never felt before but always desperately sought.

It gave them something to fight for, and the most importantly, something to believe in.

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**THE END**

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**This was so hard for me to write! But I hope you liked it. **

**It's dedicated to all of you who love happy endings :)**

**Review?**


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